A reader recently asked me how to overcome social anxiety, without drinking. Nick says,
And how does one overcome them without remaining perpetually drunk?
While I don’t have an easy solution for this, and to be honest this question could be entirely tongue-in-cheek, I present a challenge. This weekend, assuming you leave the house, you will have opportunities to be social. Not just with pretty girls. You can start off easy if you want, asking another guy or old lady what time it is. The point is that you are getting yourself into more of a social frame of mind, a social feeling.
Now, here’s the challenge. When you see a girl that you think is hot, the kind of girl you’re really attracted to, I want you to smile at her, and nod your head up, a la Michael Byc. Notice I’m not asking you to do anything but to smile, and nod your head up. (Trust me, the upward head nod is gold, thank you Byc.) Minimal investment for someone who has social anxiety.
You can do this.
What is her response? Does she smile back? Roll her eyes? Laugh? Give you the finger?
Realize that all of these responses are possible. Others are too, perhaps more positive and inviting ones. She might say hello or come over talk to you. Maybe that’s not likely, but who knows? If she does smile, you have an opportunity to go talk to her. Don’t approach with the idea of making anything happen. Simply ask her how she is today.
It may be painful if you are rejected. Feel it. Embrace it. Then move on, and do it again. This is how you get over it. Do it one step at a time. A little more every day. Take it from someone who used to have a ton of social anxiety. You needn’t live with it. But you’re going to have to put in some work.
I’m only asking you to do one simple thing.